Feng Shui for Teenagers

Two Stories of my Work with Teenagers’ Spaces

Danielle was 15 when I consulted for her parents’ home. It was a beautiful, tastefully decorated suburban home. When I saw Danielle’s pink room, with its charming fairy tale-princess furniture, I had assumed it was the room of a five year old girl. I was so surprised and her mom explained that she doesn’t allow Danielle to make any changes. I could feel that Olivia loved her daughter very much but she was quite the perfectionist and didn’t trust that Danielle would make the “right choices” decorating her room. Besides, Olivia was uncomfortable with “all that teenage stuff” so she thought that she was protecting her daughter. I explained how important it was for Danielle to express who she was and to make her own choices. Olivia agreed to allow Danielle to make some changes, starting with hanging up a few posters that represent something important to a 15 year old.

A year later I was called back and this time I got to meet Danielle. Her room was still the same–nothing had changed! Danielle explained that she didn’t feel that she was a creative person and couldn’t decide on what she liked as far as decor. Olivia was taken by surprise but immediately understood what had happen. She said “Oh my God, this is totally my fault. We have to do something now!” Olivia’s confession helped Danielle to open up. We started discussing colors and furniture options. Danielle got more and more interested and excited about the possibility of changing things up. As we went on, she spontaneously started coming up with her own ideas. I didn’t give Danielle too many guidelines, emphasizing that she should try things out and that it’s totally okay to make mistakes.  Many times I’ve observed in myself and others that the fear of making mistakes cripples creativity and limits the flow of ideas and possibilities. It is a gift to our children to give them gentle support and provide them with opportunities to express themselves and learn from their mistakes and accomplishments.

Teenager’s rooms vary a great deal. It is quite easy for me to feel a teenager’s personality by just looking at their room. I can feel whether they are shy or confident, happy and balanced, angry and rebellious, or maybe even depressed . Often parents with difficult children ask me for help after exhausting other resources.

I remember one client with a seriously depressed 13 year old boy. He had a very dark green room with black curtains and some pretty disturbing posters. His mom said that he had asked for those colors, and she allowed it despite her hesitation. I explained that her son created an environment that reflected his emotional state. No matter how much therapy he was getting, his condition would hardly improve because his environment was draining and depressing. Often it is very hard to convince teenagers to make changes to their rooms but this was a case where I asked the mother to insist on a more healing and uplifting color scheme.

Often, parents report improvements in their children’s school work and their ability to concentrate after I suggest better desk placement. Their sleep gets better too if I suggest a better spot for the bed. The bottom line: balancing the room with colors and natural elements helps balance a child’s energy and their emotional state.